Disney's Descendants

Well now look at this mess...

I know its not technically a cartoon, but take my word for it this is definitely a cartoon. Don't like it? Write your congressman! 

Some episode hi-lights: Lenny dents his wall with the DVD case, Seth attempts to shanghai the captains chair,  Sagan performs some somewhat rehearsed jokes. And the group tries to figure out the genealogy of every character in the movie. 

I was drinking when we recorded it, and I'm still drinking now! 

Get ready for some good old fashioned Disney Channel Original Movie crap. Or DCOM as Seth insists on calling it. 

 

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Cool World

Spoiler Alert: She doesn't. 

So right off the bat the poster is just a lie. BUT at least the poster is brutally honest about the visuals. So if you like...some of the oddest, grosses, most ludicrous animation this side of the Rio Grande....you're in for a good time. 

Some episode hilights....It eventually ends. 

Thats all I got, this movie is a train wreck. Some people might even say its not even a movie. so who knows. 

Bakshi trivia abounds!

Also Sagan recommends Don Hertzfeld's It's Such A Beautiful Day but he called it...like...Its such a Wonderful Life or something like that....some bullshit that was wrong, so he asked me to write the correct title down in the description. So that happened. 

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Minions

Fun Fact! Illumination, the studio that produces Minions, was succesfully sued by a Men's Rights Activist Organization for stealing their poster design to promote this Movie! 

The studio claimed that the poster was just a freudian slip.

Additionally when the MRA's found out that the co-directer Pierre Coffin was also potentially a sexist idiot, they felt "silly" but the damage had been done* 

So anyway here's a bunch of garbage thats making millions 'cause your kids are stupid. 

We review Minions 

* None of that is true. Except for Minion's Co-Director Pierre Coffin saying some sexist shit  every now and again. 

Oh! and Gloria McAndrew is here to fill a massive void for this episode

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Jan Svankmajer's Alice

You see that? You see that poster up there? Believe it or not that shit says 'Alice' in so many words. As in "Alice in Wonderland" Are you shocked to see that as the poster for a Cartoon Lampoon movie? 'Cause so am I! 

And incase you're confused that illustration is of a girl breaking out of another little girl's chest after tearing it open. And that poster is closer to a cartoon than anything in this movie. 

For the record, Seth recommended this one... 

Buckle up kids! 

We review Alice...

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The Pagemaster

This is the big one folks! The film that launched a modestly received Podcast. The one, the only, Pagemaster. Staring repeat offenders Christopher Lloyd and Patrick Stewart, as well as new time offenders Whoopi Goldberg and of course Macaulay Culkin, who is guilty of the worst crime of all....Growing Up! 

Memorable moments? Seth and Lenny defend Family Guy and The Simpsons, and Sagan indulges his addiction to music for a sustained Stinger. 

Also we noticed this shit:

 

Whoever is in charge of these new DVD releases really had no faith that anyone AT ALL, wanted to watch the Pagemaster, and was content with a handful of people being disappointed while attempting to watch Harry Potter. 

So fuck that shit! lets get to it....

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Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

We're really starting to hate Fake Christmas here at the CLP. We take our first look at a Disney sequel. One you might remember as "Belle's Enchanted Christmas" but that isn't its name...and I have no idea where you got that from. 

Episode hilights? Not much! But we do try and comprehend the numerous plot holes in the original Beauty and the Beast while meandering our way through their meandering plot. 

And Tim Curry is back, for a third time...

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The Twelve(12) Days of Christmas

Fair warning, we ramble a lot at the top of this one...but if you're really desperate to hear us talk about The 12 (Twelve) Days of Christmas skip along to like 6 minutes in... 

We watch The Twelve (12) Days of Christmas for our first episode of Christmas in July and we are joined by Gloria McAndrew, whose art you can look at here: Gloria McAndrew DeviantArt

Hilights? Seth steals a bit from the How Did This Get Made podcast, the CLP crew writes a screenplay,  and Gloria stuns us all with her recommendation. 

Prepare yourself for quibbling and lets get festive for Christmas in July and enjoy a nonstop romp that will till your tamily...with Christmas cheer!

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