The Story of Santa Claus

If you ever wanted a Christmas movie where Santa Claus bitch-slaps a wizard in front of his own son while soaring above the clouds in a magic sleigh than this is the movie for you.

And if you ever wanted that than something is wrong with you.

It stars Ed Asner (who would go on to play Santa Claus like 7 more times) and Tim Curry who has been in so many bad animated movies that we've reviewed I've honestly lost count.

Oh and if anyone is curious we found some personal art work from the film's director Toby Bluth

Its not great but its better than half of his brother's movies.

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Our newest episode!

The Christmas Tree

I really hate Christmas now. Just...just flat out hate it.

This is one of our most requested movies for our Christmas months so we finally saddled up to experience the mind numbing monotony that is The Christmas Tree. A movie that is more Dissolve-To-Black than actual film. 

Spoiler Alert: The DVD case doesn't make it out of the review entirely unscathed so... don't get too attached to that great box art.

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Our newest episode!

FreeBirds

... I think what the poster wanted to say was 'Hang on to your GIBLETS' but...they probably couldn't get away with that so they said 'nuggets' ... but I've never had Turkey Nuggets. Chicken Nuggets or McNuggets..those are a thing. This thing that the movie poster said isn't a thing. That should be a warning sign.

I mean you can make turkey nuggets, but that's not the first thing I would word associate.

Its Thanksgiving! Which is a holiday I don't really care about, at all. Will FreeBirds be able to unGrinch my heart and teach me the true meaning of Thanksgiving?

NOPE

We review FreeBirds.

and the intro is from an ATHF episode that ... really does the whole time travel turkey story a lot better in about a tenth of the time.

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Our newest episode!

Scooby-Doo and KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery/ Season Finale

Our 2nd Season comes to a close with a meek fizzle that only Kiss can provide.

We review the nightmarish hell-scape that is Scooby-Doo and KISS, a film made in 2015! That's Two Thousand and Fifteen! KISS!

and after that we discuss our lowest and highest points from this past year, and pick our Three Least Favorite films from the past year. And our Favorites. So feel free to turn this episode off halfway through!

Also Happy Halloween!

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Our newest episode!

Scared Shrekless with special guest Adam Ford

We press on throughout the month of Halloween heretofore referred to as October with a spooky 'film' starring Shrek and the gang. And what Shrek talk would be complete without special guest Adam Ford! who has nothing at all to do professionally with Shrek. But he loves it regardless 

We play a special edition of Fuck, Marry, Kill with Shrek because Adam willed it so.

and we also discuss South Dakota's deeply rooted disdain for us.

Fuck you South Dakota. We don't need you. We've got Wyoming.

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Our newest episode!

Batman: Assault on Arkham

If you hated The Suicide Squad then you'll love its better, older, smaller budgeted, better scripted film. That I think the novelization of The Suicide Squad even stole from.

I read an article about how the novel expanded on (industry code for 'made better') the backstories of the villains, and gave Killer Croc a fear of heights. Which King Shark displays in this film.

So fuck your stupid ass Novel.

Also Happy Halloween!

We review Batman: Assault on Arkham

Starring Kevin Conroy and a Mark Hamill soundalike.

Also we pay our respects to C. Martin Croker. 'Clay' to us, and nothing short of a powerhouse animator that laid the groundwork for [adultswim] and made everything we do here in Georgia possible.

Voice of Zorak and Moltar, exceptional animator, and all around great guy. He will be missed.

He also posted on Facebook once that he hated Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer. So he had excellent taste too.

The password for this episode is : Suicide Squad Halloween Batman Joker Harley Quinn

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Our newest episode!

Mail Bag Discussions #1

 

No Animated Movie this week, but we read one doozy of an E-mail and just have some industry chit chat and general fun discussion. 

also Gloria joins us! and Seth's here too! What a fun night. What could be any more fun than that?

Anything? Better say 'no' dammit!

 

No Password for this episode. We're keeping it nice and laid back this week

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Our newest episode!

Felix the Cat: The Movie

Oh Boy! Another big, loud, colorful disaster. Of course I'm talking about the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast. Which is discussing Felix the Cat's feature length movie this episode.

The hunt for Seth continues in this episode, but we're joined by special guest Jason Barnes.

We're still new to this whole running the show without Seth's equipment thing, so bear with us wont you? If you don't like it, send us an email and we'll refund your purchase price.

The Password for this episode is  Felix the Cat Kit Cat Clock Click Clock Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck and Don Oriolo Christmas

Speaking of...Enjoy this special christmasy treat

Lets Have Fun For Christmas - Don Oriolo

If you liked that, you'll love Felix the Cat the Movie.

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Our newest episode!

Sausage Party

If you think the word 'fuck' is funny, get ready, cause that's the joke.

We review FoodFight's better behaved, and somehow more controversial cousin Sausage Party.

Also Gloria McAndrew continues her trend of only being in some episodes. This one isn't one of them.

The password for this episode is Food Fight Gross Seth Native American Alcoholism Fuck Funny?

Direct Fuck Download Fuck -- Funny right?

Our newest episode!

The Lion and His Son 2

Yes that's a Playstation 2 game cover...no that's not a mistake.

The Cartoon Lampoon Podcast officially lowers the bar on what it considers to be a movie. The bare minimum is now 2 frames

For anyone in the know: this is a Dingo Pictures film. For anyone not in the know: Welcome to the know.

The password for this episode is: The Lion King Ripoff Disney Animated Filth Insult

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Our newest episode!

Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July

Rankin and Bass is back for one more chance at redemption after the non-stop barrage of garbage that is their Filmography.

Spoiler Alert? You should probably watch the movie before you listen to this episode. Don't say I didn't warn you. Don't you dare ever say that again.

We Review: Another movie with an ungodly long title that I refuse to type again.

The password for this episode is : Christmas Rudolph Santa Comedy Animation Charles Nelson Reilly

Also GLORIA is BACK! which makes even the worst episode the best episode ever.

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Our newest episode!

Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike

Its that time of year again. Time for us all to be reminded that Christmas comes but once each year. Except here, when we force it upon ourselves twice.

We kick off Christmas in July with Elf Bowling The Movie and I'm not writing the full title again I don't care. Its too long.

so grab some egg nog from the back of your fridge that you forgot about until now, chop it up, and get ready to throw up that mess at this mess.

We review more Christmas crap.

This episode's password is: Elf Christmas Comedy Animation Regret Tom Kenny

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Our newest episode!

Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation

So lets be clear here.... This episode g̱̦͖̗͔l͝i̡̞͔̩ͅt̗͕̥͔ͅc̘͈͟h̸̜͓̥͓e͕̣͎̩͓̕d͎̼͖̱͖̰̬ out on us twice while trying to record it, and the first time happened an hour and a half in... So we are surly. Surly the Loon! (Tiny Toons Joke)
B̷͝͠ư͡t̕ ͘y̕e̸͟a̡̧̕h̸͝, this is the ill-fated finale to the Summer of Love month on the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast full of glitches and m͚̙͓̲̞̯̕i͏̗̺̲s̥͓t̶͖̪a̙̭̗̳̭̤͘ḱ̠̫͕e͓s̬̞͇̠̻ and insanity and anger.
Enjoy!
Lets hope the file ho͝l͠ds ̷out long̸ en͟ough, cause we held most of the audio ribbon together with scotc͏̷h̵͘ t̶̷͠a͢pe.
Have we never mentioned that this show is recorded on actual physical medium? Well we shouldn't have cause that would be a lie.
We review, against all odds, Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation

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Our newest episode!

Over the Hedge

Its another theme month here on the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast, even if it is starting a little late.

Its the Summer of Love! and as such Lenny picked out two movies that he enjoys, but he feels aren't as popular (or well liked) as they should be.

Will the other hosts agree with his sentiments? Or will they vomit with rage at having spent 2 hours watching a decade old Dreamworks film.

Bet you can't guess which!

This episodes Password is: Dreamworks Animation Cartoon William Shatner Comedy Subjective

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Our newest episode!

The Angry Birds Movie

Here we go folks! Its a new kind of episode format I'm calling 'Lampoon Lonelies' Basically Seth and Sagan didn't want to spend the 18 dollars it takes to go see Angry Birds in theaters...

....I can't imagine why.....

SO! Lenny went and saw it by himself. But those too slack-offs can't get out of the episode that easily, they're still sitting in to hear about it

This episode's secret password is: Angry Birds Game Show Movie Review Comedy Podcast Mediocre 

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Our newest episode!

Shinbone Alley

Listener request month comes to a close, which means almost nothing because we are still just gonna grab movies you all suggest to us.

But I guess the concerted effort is over with for now.

Grand Finale though! We cap it all off with Shinbone Alley...a movie you've likely never heard of. 2/3rds of our Podcast had never heard of it, so there's that.

This is one of our jolliest episodes ever, so I guess Carol Channing brings out the best of us. Did she bring out the best in Shinbone Alley? Find out...right now!

Whats that? you want some interesting buzzwords that iTunes might find useful as search tags? well sure!

Animation Comedy Movie Review Animated Podcast Bickering

There you go.

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Our newest episode!

We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story

We're Back! (From a Hiatus) and we brought that giant yellow/orange cock and balls up there with us.

We take a look at We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story and man...does it just not hold up at all.

If you're foggy on it, feel free to take a look at the trailer. 

We're Back Youtube Trailer

By the way, the music change at about 1:15 is NOT the Beetlejuice theme. Its a legally distinct original piece of music written by James Horner for this movie. Its NOT Beetlejuice....Its Not.....Its totally a rip off of Beetlejuice.

We also have a return of repeat offenders/Podcast Favorites: Phil Nibblink (Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss) and Martin Short (Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, and Pebble and the Penguin)

So yeah... its good to be back.

Legal Disclaimer: Take medicine only as directed by a doctor, and follow all the instructions on the medicine container.

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Our newest episode!

Zootopia

Move over Zambezia! There's a new grand finale in our alphabetically ordered episode list on the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast.

And if this is years later and you're having trouble finding the Blu-ray or DVD just check in the very bottom corner of the Disney section of Best Buy and you should find it next to the Zorro box set.

We review Zootopia: Disney's latest animated feature, and I don't want to give anything away...but we really have nothing but good things to say about it.

Its one of Disney's best. Incredibly smart, Artistically Breathtaking, Fun, Important. Why are you even reading this. Just go to the movies and watch it.

also feel free to check out This Review  We think its like.....CRAZY racist sounding...and I'd love for you to see it.... Maybe we read it wrong? 

I mean you can dislike the movie if you want. It doesn't make you a bad person. Not at all. But...this review up there is like.....Whoa.

Add your voice to the comment section there if you want :D

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Our newest episode!

Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss

Listener Request Month continues and its becoming more and more obvious that you, audience, do not like us. You want to hurt us. And you have.

We review Phil Nibbleink's Romeo & Juliet Sealed with a Kiss, a poor, POOR attempt at adapting the greatest love story ever told, (At least it was the greatest until Attack of the Clones came out). 

An Attempt by the way that he made all by himself. Literally! One person, wrote, directed, and animated this movie. ALL BY HIMSELF. His wife helped produce, his 5 year old helped voice act.

Starring seals!

No one is in it, and nothing happens.

But if you want to get an idea of what this movie is like here's a youtube link to his previous movie Puss in Boots.

Buckle up Kids.

Puss in Boots - Why Won't You Marry Me

 

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Our newest episode!

Help! I'm a Fish / A Fish Tale

OH...... oh..... Oh no. Oh look at that. ... LOOK AT THAT! 

Oh! Well now look at that! ... Okay now look at the first one. Now back here. Now there. Can you believe that these are two covers for the same movie? CAN YOU?!? 

Well you better. Because its true. 

We kick off Recommendation Month with A Fish Tale and/or Help! I'm a Fish. An animated movie from Denmark starring the late, and immensely missed, Alan Rickman. 

Episode Hi-lights?

Seth does not define any words from the dictionary, The gang dissects the American DVD  cover's intentions, and Lenny finds a new love. 

If you have any movies you'd like us to review for Recommendation Month feel free to toss us an email at CartoonLampoonPodcast@gmail.com

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Our newest episode!

Norm of the - NOPE! Rikki-Tikki-Tavi

You see that crap up there? That crap isn't worth our time. 

Rob Schnieder isn't worth an instant of my time. He's not even worth double checking that I spelled his name right. 

Now this! this is fine...we'll talk about this. 

We check out Chuck Jones in this weeks episode! Specifically his take on Rudyard Kipling's Rikki-Tikki-Tavi. 

Episode hi-lights?

Seth makes an insufferable ass out of himself for the entire episode. Save for roughly 20 minutes where he, by the grace of God, shuts up entirely. 

Other fun moments?

We discuss the incomparable June Foray. And we mention her autobiography which is THIS

Lenny and Sagan have a hissing whisper conversation (thats a hi-light?) 

Seth plows through Dictionary.com with an almost perverse interest in defining words (By the way I cut down his definition of the word 'film' from 5 minutes to 30 seconds. You're welcome) 

Its our most missable episode yet! 

OH and Seth tries to tell Lenny that Naga does not come from a root dialect and instead is inspired by some sort of indian God(dess)? 

WELL NAY I SAY! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naja

Educate yourselves!

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Our newest episode!

Star Wars Droids : The Pirates and the Prince

This is a movie I promise! Its a fake movie that was stitched together using 4 episodes of a show. But its a movie now damn it!

So Star Wars is back in full force these days with The Force Awakens. The dark times are long behind us and we're in the loving hands of JJ Abrams and BB-8 and....DD-aisy Ridley or whatever other two letter first name people are in the fray now. 

But how can we appreciate the good times without acknowledging the bad times. 

The CLP tackle a piece of crap from 1985 from the series Droids starring Anthony Daniels, the alleged piece of literal shit that he is

Episode Hi-lights? Aside from the fact that its FUCKING STAR WARS!?

We talk about whether or not the character of Kylo Ren was named after the character in this Kybo Ren. (I am not shitting you, thats a real, main character in this) 

Gloria is back (we tricked her into thinking we were going to watch Star Wars) 

Seth discusses his favorite star wars character: Nepo T'zum

 

and Lenny discusses George Lucas, George's ineptitude, and George Lucas's alleged Canon Cannon. You'll figure it out.

Episode retractions? We consistently, and arbitrarily refer to Sy Snootles as SLY Snootles. 

And Lenny says that Rotta the Hutt is Jabba's nephew, when it is actually his son.

Sorry! Sorry everybody, we didn't mean to ruin your week. 

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Our newest episode!

Animal Farm

 

Wikipedia didn't have an image of the movie's cover so...here's a cover of a book. Thats fun right? Happy New Year!

I don't really know what to tell you about this one.... if you're in middle school and you have a test on Animal Farm that you don't want to study for but still want to get like....a C- minus kind of grade out of...you can just give this a listen instead. 

Sagan's out of town again, and Gloria is back in the fray to tackle a dour, humorless story about the dangers of electing a power hungry, xenophobic, megalomaniacal, fear mongering, hate fostering demagogue to a position of leadership. Because it just spells disaster for everyone. 

Trump 2016

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Our newest episode!