Sunday, December 20, 2015

Rapsittie Street Kids Believe in Santa



Wow.... animation doesn't get much uglier than this one. 

An Urban Legend visits us in the night this Christmas! And it couldn't look worse if a computer made it in 1988! In fact it couldn't look worse if you actually tried to make something look fucked up. 

Case in point: Some glorious animation that intentionally looks fucked up

THAT looks better than THIS!

Its better animated, it has better collision detection, there is better timing, better backgrounds, better EVERYTHING! 

...well except for its voice cast..because Rapsittie has Jodi Benson and Mark Effin' Hamill.... 

We review Rapsittie Street Kids Believe in Santa 

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Sunday, December 6, 2015

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Well I shudder to say it...but its Christmas Time again, and that spells pain for the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast. 

We call in the big guns this week with Special Guest Gloria McAndrew from previous holiday themed episode The 12 Days of Christmas. (If we do movies based on songs she basically comes standard) 

Episode Hilights? Lenny loses his cool and shatters the DVD. Seth tries to say the title of every Charlie Brown Special Ever Made. and Sagan accidentally makes the funniest joke the podcast has seen yet. 

Also Gloria brings her A-game as usual. 

And by the way, if you want to follow along for next episode...check this crap out...Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa Vimeo 

Careful what you wish for this Christmas....that link is the internet equivalent of the Arc of the Covenant. The opening song isn't terrible though... at least until the rapping starts. 

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Friday, November 27, 2015

The Good Dinosaur

Speedy turnaround on this one! We review the Good Dinosaur! Sagan is out of town but we have an amazing guest with us this week to fill the void. Dagny Phillips-Stumberger!

We will warn you before we get into spoilers so have fun with this review! We also run through some trailers that are out right now and give our thoughts and feelings on those. 

Also we plug a super deserving Kickstarter to bring back MST3K which you can find here : Bring Back MST3K

They are super transparent about where your money is going and in my opinion they are the best show ever, so if you Want some fun prizes and want to help out an awesome kickstarter, here's your chance. 

I know if you like our show, you'll like their show. 

Also on the topic: Don Bluth recently took his failed crap Kickstarter to Indiegogo. Don't give that money. I don't have time to go into detail on that, but I gotta tell you He's asking for too much money for what he wants to do. Buy Beware! It already failed, and on Indie Gogo when you give it its gone...  Stay away. I won't even Link you. Stay away!

 

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Sunday, November 22, 2015

Fievel Goes West



Another Sequel on the docket for today, and this one has been a long time coming! In fact Sagan's been waiting an entire year to talk about this one so...after this one he'll probably just quit the show. 

Episode Hilights? We set Sagan drive the show for a change, Seth back seat drives into every tangent he can find, and Lenny drunk drives after downing 750 ml of 27% alcohol by volume in just under an hour and 50 minutes. 

Speaking of! this is our longest episode ever. Who is to blame? You decide!

Also we talk about a little tiiiiiiny penis thats drawn aimed at Tanya's mouth for a bit. Its crazy fucked up. Here it is!



Its quivering and everything, and its on every copy. It'd be so easy to edit it out but I guess Spielberg has a rule ever since he ruined E.T. that once its printed its printed.

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Sunday, November 8, 2015

FernGully 2



Season 2 Kicks off with a thematically appropriate choice: FernGully 2. 

And let me tell you the One Year Anniversary of watching FernGully for a podcast is the ONLY time when it is appropriate to watch FernGully 2. THE ONLY TIME. 

What even is there to say about this one? Lenny continues his trend of chucking DVD's against other things, Seth professes his love for BluRay, and Sagan ends the episode with a killer joke. I mean it is just the best sign off joke I have ever heard. 

You get what you pay for... We review FernGully 2. 

 

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Sunday, October 25, 2015

Season Finale/The Devil and Daniel Mouse



So its come to this! A full year of watching cruddy animation and enduring each others caustic personalities has brought us to The Devil and Daniel Mouse. A movie from 1978 Nelvana productions, so obscure that its been reduced to a special feature on another movie... THATS fucking obscure. 

We also wrap up the season and discuss the worst movies we've watched, the best movie we've watched this year on the show, and we go back and change our opinion on one movie from the past season. 

Doesn't that sound like fun?! I'll bet it does. 

Also here's a link that Sagan wanted me to share from Hotel Transylvania 2 ... I don't know why. 

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Sunday, October 18, 2015

Mad Monster Party?

Buckle up folks! Its time for one of the most misogynistic movies I've ever seen. For any kind of frame of reference, it actually keeps pace with Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie. Thats bad! 

Episode Hilights? Seth has an epiphany on air, Sagan tries to tear down the recording studio and Lenny utterly obliterates this movie in record time. 

Also some trigger warnings on this one: Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, Domestic Abuse, Gun Violence, Misogyny. We are opposed to all of them, but dammit if they don't come up a lot... 

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Sunday, October 11, 2015

Hotel Transylvania 2



We take a look at the new Halloweeny movie from Adam Sandler and Genndy Tartakovsky while its out in theaters for Schloktoberfest! 

Its technically a minisode but we run long...give us a listen to find out why! Its not that great of a surprise but we talk a lot. 

Also we put out a contest in the episode if you're interested in that! It should be easy to win but why would you want to? You loser...

Also we have a special guest with us this episode. Victoria Alexander, who gets to plug her October comic Vampire Bites. Which you can check out Here

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Sunday, October 4, 2015

The Scarecrow


Hey look at that lovely fun Halloween cover up there! This should be a great way to kick of Schloktoberfest on the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast!

... oh...except it has literally, absolutely nothing to do with Halloween at all....its barely about Autumn!

Some fun episode hi-lights? Well we've got a special guest with us. One Sean Farbolin ... or Farbolini...or maybe Ffarbollwyn.... though he assures me he isn't Welsh. And we play musicologists for some in depth looks at this musical's soundtrack.

And if you're coming here from the episode I've go some links as promised.

First off is the fucking nuts dancing scene!
Mindfuck Dancing

And here's the opening music JUST TO PROVE that I didn't doctor it to prove my point.
RIPPED OFF MUSIC! (allegedly)

and shame on you for doubting me

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Sunday, September 27, 2015

Disney's Descendants



Well now look at this mess...

I know its not technically a cartoon, but take my word for it this is definitely a cartoon. Don't like it? Write your congressman! 

Some episode hi-lights: Lenny dents his wall with the DVD case, Seth attempts to shanghai the captains chair,  Sagan performs some somewhat rehearsed jokes. And the group tries to figure out the genealogy of every character in the movie. 

I was drinking when we recorded it, and I'm still drinking now! 

Get ready for some good old fashioned Disney Channel Original Movie crap. Or DCOM as Seth insists on calling it. 

 

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Sunday, September 13, 2015

Cool World



Spoiler Alert: She doesn't. 

So right off the bat the poster is just a lie. BUT at least the poster is brutally honest about the visuals. So if you like...some of the oddest, grosses, most ludicrous animation this side of the Rio Grande....you're in for a good time. 

Some episode hilights....It eventually ends. 

Thats all I got, this movie is a train wreck. Some people might even say its not even a movie. so who knows. 

Bakshi trivia abounds!

Also Sagan recommends Don Hertzfeld's It's Such A Beautiful Day but he called it...like...Its such a Wonderful Life or something like that....some bullshit that was wrong, so he asked me to write the correct title down in the description. So that happened. 

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Sunday, August 30, 2015

Minions

Fun Fact! Illumination, the studio that produces Minions, was succesfully sued by a Men's Rights Activist Organization for stealing their poster design to promote this Movie! 

The studio claimed that the poster was just a freudian slip.

Additionally when the MRA's found out that the co-directer Pierre Coffin was also potentially a sexist idiot, they felt "silly" but the damage had been done* 

So anyway here's a bunch of garbage thats making millions 'cause your kids are stupid. 

We review Minions 

* None of that is true. Except for Minion's Co-Director Pierre Coffin saying some sexist shit  every now and again. 

Oh! and Gloria McAndrew is here to fill a massive void for this episode

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Sunday, August 16, 2015

Jan Svankmajer's Alice

You see that? You see that poster up there? Believe it or not that shit says 'Alice' in so many words. As in "Alice in Wonderland" Are you shocked to see that as the poster for a Cartoon Lampoon movie? 'Cause so am I! 

And incase you're confused that illustration is of a girl breaking out of another little girl's chest after tearing it open. And that poster is closer to a cartoon than anything in this movie. 

For the record, Seth recommended this one... 

Buckle up kids! 

We review Alice...

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Sunday, August 2, 2015

The Pagemaster

This is the big one folks! The film that launched a modestly received Podcast. The one, the only, Pagemaster. Staring repeat offenders Christopher Lloyd and Patrick Stewart, as well as new time offenders Whoopi Goldberg and of course Macaulay Culkin, who is guilty of the worst crime of all....Growing Up! 

Memorable moments? Seth and Lenny defend Family Guy and The Simpsons, and Sagan indulges his addiction to music for a sustained Stinger. 

Also we noticed this shit:

 

Whoever is in charge of these new DVD releases really had no faith that anyone AT ALL, wanted to watch the Pagemaster, and was content with a handful of people being disappointed while attempting to watch Harry Potter. 

So fuck that shit! lets get to it....

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Sunday, July 19, 2015

Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

We're really starting to hate Fake Christmas here at the CLP. We take our first look at a Disney sequel. One you might remember as "Belle's Enchanted Christmas" but that isn't its name...and I have no idea where you got that from. 

Episode hilights? Not much! But we do try and comprehend the numerous plot holes in the original Beauty and the Beast while meandering our way through their meandering plot. 

And Tim Curry is back, for a third time...

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Sunday, July 5, 2015

The Twelve(12) Days of Christmas



Fair warning, we ramble a lot at the top of this one...but if you're really desperate to hear us talk about The 12 (Twelve) Days of Christmas skip along to like 6 minutes in... 

We watch The Twelve (12) Days of Christmas for our first episode of Christmas in July and we are joined by Gloria McAndrew, whose art you can look at here: Gloria McAndrew DeviantArt

Hilights? Seth steals a bit from the How Did This Get Made podcast, the CLP crew writes a screenplay,  and Gloria stuns us all with her recommendation. 

Prepare yourself for quibbling and lets get festive for Christmas in July and enjoy a nonstop romp that will till your tamily...with Christmas cheer!

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Sunday, June 28, 2015

The Black Cauldron

While we're talking about Pixar, we might as well talk about Disney! Specifically Disney's 25th Animated film, The Black Cauldron. You might remember it, but probably not. 

To refresh your memory it stars Disney's least popular princess, Disney's least popular comic relief character, Disney's most choppily editted villain, and of course Fflewdder Fflam.

That's not a typo, that's really a characters name. That's an ACTUAL character's name. Fflewdder Fflam! You know that character. You think Disney, you think Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, and Fflewdder Fflam. I mean, he's top 5 easy.

 

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Friday, June 19, 2015

Inside Out

 

 

Its a Cartoon Lampoon Minisode! We discuss Pixar's Inside Out and Spoiler Alert! Go see it.  Also Spoiler Alert we have spoilers in this movie review. 

So go see this movie, and then listen to us. You have been warned. 

Lets jump into it shall we?

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Sunday, June 7, 2015

The Princess and the Goblin


Editors note: This movie doesn't even have an image on its wikipedia...so here's an image of the cover of the book. Take my word for it, it's prettier. 

It's Goblin Month on the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast and...it is really not important why, it just happened that way. First up is The Princess and the Goblin a movie that is notable as being the first animated movie to come out of Wales. 

We do love you Wales... but... well. We'll talk about this movie later. Right now!

Other notable moments: Seth waxes nostalgic for old SNL skits, Sagan can't point to Wales on a map, and Lenny struggles to say the names of all our characters. 

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Sunday, May 24, 2015

The Pebble and the Penguin



The CLP tackles another Don Bluth Movie and they wrap up their thoughts on Don Bluth.

Repeat offenders Tim Curry, Martin Short AND Jim Belushi are back in business in this Penguin Piffle, so you know its gonna be a nightmare. The Lampooners do their very best to remember what went on in the plot and struggle to forget the crap-tastic songs.

Also We Erroneously refer to the female narrator of the move as Julie Andrews, but it wasn't her. She never did anything with this movie. No idea where we got that information from. But in reality it was Shani Wallis whom you may remember from the Great Mouse Detective as the voice of "Lady Mouse" so... how could we forget that....

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Sunday, May 10, 2015

Rock-A-Doodle

It's Don Bluth Month here on the CLP! That's right we've got a theme month on our hands, and our first Artist themed month where we talk about not only the movie at hand but Don Bluth specifically... That discussion is a bit of a two parter... but we'll at least wrap up Rock a Doodle this episode. How long can we talk about a fever-dream movie about Bird-Elvis? Good question....

Things to look forward to? Eddie Deezen of course! and Lenny runs through every Don Bluth movie ever with the crew and catalogues the collective reactions. Spoiler alert: Things go south fast. 

Next episode will be Pebble and the Penguin! and the riveting conclusion of Don Bluth Month...

April Babcock joins us for the discussion, and boy she's just a bright ball of trivia. 

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Sunday, April 26, 2015

Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie



I'm making this poster icon as small as possible because I can't even stand to look at it. It's making me sick.

Anyway the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast takes a look at J&SB'sSGCM for no reason other than it basically dared us to.

Buckle up kids! And fair warning; this movie isn't a Disney Cartoon so be ready for some crude topics. Cruder than we normally get into on this show so that should tell you something.

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Sunday, April 12, 2015

The Brave Little Toaster



The Cartoon Lampoon Crew take a small respite from the bottom of the barrel of bad animated movies after barely surviving Foodfight! to take a look at a more tolerable submission: The Brave Little Toaster

So the CLP reviews the BLT and they are joined by a special guest: Lizzy from Seth and Lizzy Talk about Music!

If you like what you hear give Seth and Lizzy Talk about Music a like on iTunes. And While you're there give us a rating and a review too! why not?

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Sunday, March 29, 2015

Home

It's a Cartoon Lampoon Minisode! We discuss the newest Dreamworks film: Home!

We saw it opening night and we're ready to talk about it! Sagan and Lenny even have a Statler and Waldorf moment in the theater that no one is proud of. No reason to drag this one out! Lets get to it.

Oh! and feel free to rate and review us on iTunes! If'n you feel like it

(Get it? "Oh")

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Sunday, March 15, 2015

Foodfight!



The Cartoon Lampoon Podcast tackles what is, undeniably, the nadir of what can begrudgingly be called entertainment.

This is the single most vile, putrid, disgusting, vulgar, unsavory, spoiled, rotten, stomach churning, horrifying, infuriating, blood boiling, anti-Semitic, spine shattering, shit spewing, spineless, hopeless, misguided, misinformed, misanthropic, talentless, ridiculous, hate-filled, soulless, hollow, and flat out wretched mess in the history of cinema.

It has been called 'The Room' of animated movies. I call it the 'The Birth of A Nation' of animated movies, except Foodfight! is even more hateful and less impactful than that. IMO

So find out what we thought of it in this weeks episode!!

We also get into a spirited discussion about Pixar and Toy Story 4.

Don't forget to rate us and review us on iTunes if you don't mind!

Also here's the original Trailer for FoodFight! with some....decent* animation

*considering the fact that it is 10 years old, and is being directly compared to the final product of Foodfight.

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Sunday, March 1, 2015

Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return.

 

 

It's the Wizard of Oz sequel you never knew you never needed with a cast you were certain you never wanted!

If you thought Joan Baez would be the worst casting choice as the Cowardly Lion, you'd be wrong! Jim Belushi is. You probably got confused because of the similar initials. It's my guess that's how Jim Belushi gets all his jobs.

Also in tow is Lea Michelle, Dan Aykroyd, Frasier Crane (Lets be honest he's just Frasier Crane now...), and Martin Short.

Its a nightmare...but we manage to stretch that concept over an hour and 40 minutes or so.

LEGENDS OF OZ TRAILER Youtube Watch it! If you dare.

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Sunday, February 15, 2015

Zambezia

 

Pinch hitting for Sagan Lacy...Manny Mota...Mota...Mota....    Oh wait, no. No, it's Brandon Berger. Still good though.

Airplane's a good movie related to aviation. Watch that. We watched Zambezia! Which is very much not.

This crap fest is available to watch on Netflix (at the point of posting this episode anyway) if you really have an inkling to

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Sunday, February 1, 2015

Strange Magic



Its an Emergency Episode of the Cartoon Lampoon Podcast. Rushed to your door! Hot off the presses. From the mind of George Lucas comes Strange Magic.

In Theaters Now!

I don't want to spoil too much for you guys before you click this one, but I'll say this:

There's a lot more rape in this movie than I expected.

So lets jump in shall we?

Also Lenny went on a Plinkett bend in this one so if you wanna see someone really tear into George Lucas check out this fun from Red Letter Media . No relation.

Sagan also recommends a book of all things... (Spoilers) so if you're into reading here's that: Amazon: Silver Screen Fiend . No Relation.

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Sunday, January 18, 2015

Space Jam





















We know, we know. Ten year old you LOVES this movie, and we understand... but ten year old you isn't here, and we're gonna have to take a long hard look at this movie-commercial. A movie-commercial inspired by a shorter commercial and directed by the same guy that made the original commerical. So... yeah, ten year old you is probably right on the money... but hey! Bill Murray is in it!

Unfortunately Michael Jordan is also in it... and pale imitations of the Looney Tunes and Nike...and McDonalds...and...Hanes? I dunno....

Also if nostalgia is really your thing... check out the original Space Jam website! It hasn't aged a day...

Official Space Jam Website


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Sunday, January 4, 2015

Rudolph's Shiny New Year

Rudolph's Shiny New Year

 

The CLP Crew is kicking of 2015 with a bang. 

We take a look at one of Rankin/Bass's less than stellar holiday selections: Rudolph's Shiny New Year. Which reads a bit like The Lord of the Rings trilogy but with worse pacing and more lore. 

We also take a look at some of the more memorable moments from Baby New Year's reign. Spoilers, a lot of people died under his watch. 

Also Sagan was off doing God knows what, with God knows who when we recorded this so Seth and Lenny are joined by a special guest! Jason Walling lends his animation expertise to help us disect this holiday horror show. 

 

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